Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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