You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
