Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
