Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
