My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
