he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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