I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
