You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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