We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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