Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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