Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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