Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
