Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
