If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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