So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
