Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
