Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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