So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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