My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
