Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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