you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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