I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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