I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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