so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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