We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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