i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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