Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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