My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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