all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
