I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
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