He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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