My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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