These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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