I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
