Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
