so explain again why im purple
no
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
