It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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