Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You're like the curious george of whores
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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