You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
