I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
