24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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