All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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