I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I supernannyed him into submission
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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