just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
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