so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
