he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
If that was your dad, he is hot
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize