Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
