I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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