franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize