I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just want to make out with him forever
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
