I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
