Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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