How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
