If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
