He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
