On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
