My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize