my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize