On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
So many bounce houses so little time
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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