Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
